Paula Rosenberg Freelance Writer: Online Portfolio

Information on NYC based Writer, Paula Rosenberg

My Daily Personal Essay: Dating Chubby Chasers

leave a comment »

Check out my January 2011 essay on my dating and weigh loss woes on mydaily.com.  You can click the link below to see the article on My Daily’s website or read it as it appears below.

My Daily Essay on Dating 

I Lost 60 Pounds, But I Still Couldn’t Shake the Chubby Chasers

Posted Jan 19th 2011 at 9:00AM by Paula Rosenberg

flickr, QZAP

Who wouldn’t want a guy who loves her curves and less-than-toned body? Apparently me.

In high school I was the funny, fat girl. If my weight bothered any of my boyfriends, they never said anything. I never had a partner suggest I shed some pounds. During college and grad school I tended to focus more on academics than romance, and I was okay with that. I was popular, active, and never let my girth weigh me down.

After graduating I moved to NYC and — thanks to the walking culture and easy access to healthy food — I managed to shed close to 60 pounds in one year. I was still nowhere near being considered slim, but I was on my way and felt fantastic.

Having lost so much weight it was time to have some old clothes taken in. I brought some pants into my local tailor. When I came to pick them up, he told me that he was glad we were alone. He was now able to confess that he was really attracted to larger women because they have big breasts and he attempted to go in for a squeeze. Fortunately for me I was able to sprint out of there pretty quick.

The encounter struck me as creepy, but I brushed it off as another run in with a New York weirdo. By then I become accustomed to the occasional odd duck on the subway who would be hypnotically drawn to my love handles.

Losing weight had boosted my self confidence, and I decided it was time to start dating again. I figured there had to be men out there who would find something aside from my rubenesque shape appealing.

My first date was with a guy I had run into a few times while running errands in my neighborhood. It was low-key — a simple meeting at a coffee house. Everything was fine until he no longer seemed content sitting across from me and suddenly dlid into the booth along with me.

Once there, he kept whispering in my ear, even though it was unnecessary: We were mere inches apart. Then he confessed how much he loved my thighs. I faked being late for another appointment before he was able to give them a stroke.

If this was what returning to dating was going to be like, I was resolving to embrace spinsterdom, but a good friend encouraged me not to give up.

“Why don’t you give online dating a try?,” she suggested one day over brunch. I had been leery of cyber-romance: I hated blind dates and feared that someone might be disappointed once they saw my stout self in the flesh. My friend suggested posting at least one full body shot in my online profile, that way I would know that the person planning on meeting me would know what to expect.

Not long after creating my profile, I received my first message from a guy who lived nearby. After several emails and a phone call, I found myself getting ready to meet my first match made in cyber-heaven. He treated me to lunch at a quiet café near Central Park. The conversation flowed. We bonded over a shared love of tennis, and the way he gazed into my eyes let me know he wasn’t disappointed that I didn’t boast a Maria Sharapova physique.

Later we went for a walk. Just as I was about to agree to a second date, he leaned in and whispered that “I wanted to go out with you based on your profile picture. I love a girl with a tummy.”

I didn’t know exactly what to say, so I told him about my weight loss achievement: “60 pounds and counting…,” confesssed. Only, instead of being impressed, he seemed disappointed that he had missed out on the super-sized me. Then he started rubbing my belly, Buddha-style. I felt like I was on the cover of “Pat the Bunny.” I pulled away and asked that he please forget my number as I bolted.

A part of me wondered why I was so offended by my dates. I was bothered by more than the inappropriate grabbing, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was bugging me. Shouldn’t I want a man who found me physically desirable just the way I was?

The truth is, they made me feel like an object, and I knew that being in a relationship with someone who had a fetish for the heavyset wasn’t going to be a motivator for getting fit.

I have come to accept that I will always be a curvy girl, and I’m OK with that. While I know that we all have our idée fixe, I would like to find a partner who likes me just the way I am, and for all that I am. After all — big or small — each of us is a sum of more than her waistline.

Paula Rosenberg is a freelance writer living in New York. Her last story was, “10 Things Ru Paul’s ‘Drag Race’ Taught Me About Being a Woman” — not that she’s stereotyping Ms. Paul.

Advertisements

Written by paularosenberg

February 15, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: